Thanksgiving Smackdown

My students' final paper was due before Thanksgiving weekend - a tactical move on my part, since I would prefer not to read papers that have been thrown together in a haze of tryptophan and football. Still, they whined that they wanted to have the weekend to work on the paper. The conversation in class went like this:

Them: If you give us the weekend, the papers will probably be better.
Me: In my professional experience, you are wrong about that. Also, do you really want to have the paper hanging over you during Thanksgiving?
Them: Do YOU really want to grade papers during your Thanksgiving?
Me: I'm Canadian. I had my Thanksgiving a month ago. Nice try.
Them: You mean you aren't going to celebrate Thanksgiving because you're Canadian?
Me: I will have a meal where I eat too much, but that won't interfere with my professional life.
Them: But don't you want to watch football?
Me: I find few things less interesting than football.
(General shock and confusion. Muffled sound of student saying "That's twisted!")

Them: But I bet you like hockey!
Me: No.
(Stunned silence)
Them: Do you like to watch any sports?
Me: I enjoy watching the stranger Olympic events, like Luge and Curling. However, the Olympics will not take place until next semester. Your paper is still due on Tuesday, y'all.