GGG

Yesterday I held a yard sale.  It was moderately successful, considering that it was rainy and chilly all day.  Several people commented that my signage was excellent.  Indeed, I devoted a lot of thought to lines of sight and letter size when making and posting my signs, and I invested in helium balloons to mark the path to amazing deals.  

Yard sales always attract interesting characters.  A fellow, whose appearance struck me as a public service announcement about the dangers of smoking, glanced at my stuff and asked "Do you have any guitars?" (I should note that his pronunciation of guitar placed emphasis on the first syllable, "GUItar.")

I smiled and answered, "No, I'm afraid I'm not very musical."

"Are you sure?"

(Sure that I'm not musical?)

"No, sorry." 

He continued, "When I come to these sales I always ask people to dig around a bit because it might be worth it to them.  Do you have any old or broken gold?"

"No, sorry - just what you see here."

"How about guns - you got any guns?"

I tried very hard to restrain my eyebrows from shooting up to the top of my forehead. 

"No, no guns for sale here."

As he walked away, he declared loudly "Guitars, Guns and Gold - that's what I'm looking for."

And I haven't even moved to Texas yet.