I'm doing some grading-for-pay like I did last summer. So far the papers have not been as hilarious as usual, but one stands out from the others. The prompt was something like "Discuss something that frightened you as a child, but you find humorous as an adult". This person's response: Little People. The author refers to them as Small People, but you get the idea.
"My biggest fear when I was younger was small people, the really short adults like on The Wizard of Oz. The reason I was afraid of small people were that they could get in my hamper, they could fit in my trunk, and my mom was scared of them.
Small people can fit practically anywhere. Every time I went to the bathroom in my house, there would always be a hamper. The hamper was a perfect spot for a small person to fit into, and I was always scared he or she would jump out of the hamper while I was using the bathroom. It would be so easy for small people to jump out of hampers and kill people.
It would be simple for a small person to hide in the trunk of my car while my family are heading down the road, and I am dead by that person choking me or shooting me."
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4 comments:
What did you grade this paper? I give it an A+ for entertainment value.
You should play a prank on this student and tell him that your parents are little people and you find his paper highly offensive.
I gave it a 2 out of 3 - 2 means "ok, you're literate". No question, it was the most entertaining essay of the lot. The rest are snoozer arguments about "why I like shopping at the mall more than shopping downtown". ZZZZZ. Alas, I can't communicate with the author because these are standardized test essays and I'm just a grading drone.
Jesse recommends that you watch "Don't Look Now" if you would like to probe deeper into phobias about little people.
That's a great essay. Maybe they should write the next one about their fear of hampers.
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