Vote or Die

It was a glorious day in Atlanta today, so everyone went to the park to have picnics, play frisbee, and walk their dogs.  While walking mine I noticed that the voter-registration people were out in force, getting everyone signed up to make democracy happen.  A mother-daughter team approached me and asked if I was registered.  I said "Thank you for asking, but I'm not American." The mother said "Oh, I don't think that matters."  I suggested that it did, but she wouldn't take no for an answer:

Woman: Do you have a driver's license?

Me: Yes, but I'm not a U.S. Citizen.

(Woman consults clipboard)

Woman: Are you a legal resident of Fulton County?

Me: Yes, but...

Woman:  Well then you can vote.

Me:  I'm pretty sure you have to be an American citizen to vote.

Woman:  But if you live here legally you can register.

Daughter:  Mom, that doesn't sound right.

Me: I'm Canadian.

Woman:  Let's look at the list again...driver's license...social security number...over 17 years old...not a felon....

Me:  I don't want to get deported.

Woman:  Oh, wait, I guess you have to be all the things on the list.

(Daughter rolls eyes)

Me: Yes, I imagine so.  But thank you for your dedication.  Good luck! 

While this was going on, I was on my cell phone with a Canadian friend who works in the U.S. As she listened to this confused repartee, she found herself seconds away from demanding to speak to the woman herself and explain how citizenship works.

The irony is that if I had registered to vote, illegally, then that would be a felony.  Then I'd be a felon, and wouldn't be able to vote.

This made me reminisce about the time I got my Georgia driver's license and the woman at the DMV tried to register me to vote in spite of my Canadian passport and Ontario license because I "seemed American" on account of my clear English and blonde hair.

America is dying for me to get the franchise.