It's that time of year again, and I'm grading standardized test essays in order to eke out a living. Some brilliant insights from Georgia youth:
A rather infamous leader is Hitler.
Doing personal research I have found out that alcohol is not good for the brain or the body.
Turning sixteen means only one thing: it’s time to get the famous drivers lissense.
Most rap videos are filmed in jail, so they send the signal that it’s okay to go to jail.
Schools today are putting more emphasis on education more than ever.
The candidate was mere votes away from the presidency.
Women are monarchs in the great thing we call society.
From an essay on children's beauty pageants: In their youth they had vain dreams of becoming sophisticated clowns.
Lung cancer is the most popular with people who smoke.
As an American I never have time to sit down and eat.
I love spelling errors, particularly involving homonyms:
In a world full of genocide and gorilla warfare many horrible casualties occur regularly.
When starting to date someone new, it would be smart to make mental notes of the habitats that person has that could bother you in the future.
People having fun at the weeding ceremony did not limit their alcohol conception.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Peace in Our Time
One of the strange developments that has occurred while living in Atlanta is that Mollie has made friends with a number of neighbourhood cats. There are two cats in particular, Nora and Ollie, who will even accompany us on walks. I have attempted to photograph their charming interactions, but the instant I take the photo, Mollie moves out of frame. I think Mollie is somewhat embarrassed, and worries that these photos will ruin her reputation in the dog community. I was able to capture this encounter - it may look like Mollie is attacking the cat, but it actually represents a tummy-tickle.
Professorial Style
I'm thinking that in my last few weeks at Georgia Tech, I should let loose and start wearing progressively crazier outfits to work. What do you think of this look?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Make My Day
I know I can't stop talking about Lubbock, but when I'm looking for something to do on a Sunday afternoon, I can visit the "Patriot Firearms and Family Shooting Center", where the ladies enjoy a reduced range fee and free gun rental. Bang!
On the list of house rules, it states:
"Targets: you must use our targets (no alien targets)."
Alien targets? Like, from Roswell, New Mexico, which is just a three hour drive from Lubbock?
On the list of house rules, it states:
"Targets: you must use our targets (no alien targets)."
Alien targets? Like, from Roswell, New Mexico, which is just a three hour drive from Lubbock?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Lubbock Countdown
I am thrilled to report that Lubbock has a drive-in movie theatre, and that the concessions menu offers such delights as a giant pickle and a deep-fried Twinkie. You can also get a "Stars and Stripes Drive-In" t-shirt, and for an additional $2, you can get in in extra-extra-large. I think there may be a causal relationship between XXL and the deep-fried Twinkie. Good times ahead!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The World of Coca Cola
Dad visited last weekend, and we took in one of Atlanta's greatest tourist traps, the World of Coca Cola. It's not so much a museum as a capitalist manifesto. Of course, anything less would be disorienting.
The first chamber is full of international Coke advertisements, and is undeniably delightful.
Then, we were herded into the first of several cinemas to watch The Happiness Factory - A Documentary, where fanciful animated creatures talk about their experiences producing Happiness in the Coke Factory. I realize that I have degrees in film and psychoanalytic thought so I am predisposed to a certain type of interpretation, but this was one of the most perverse films I've ever seen. First, there's the "woman" who is essentially describes herself as the company prostitute, whose mission is to make sure everyone is happy and satisfied, and who keeps crossing her legs and commenting about how you can see up her skirt. Uh-huh. Then, there's these little disembodied mouths that jump around and ambush characters with their caresses. Right. Then there's the gay blue-alien workers with handlebar mustaches and hardhats. Ok. Don't miss the flying blimp creature with the pierced nipples. I'm not kidding. Happiness Factory indeed!
The next areas were devoted to the history of Coca Cola and its thousands of supplementary beverages. I particularly enjoyed this unofficial Coca Cola sandwich press. Yum.
There was extensive discussion of the Coke corporate philosophy, that a Coke product should always be "within arm's reach of desire." In keeping with that, here is the Coke dispenser for the Space Shuttle.
One of the attractions is a real-life Coke bottling facility, where the vat of mystery syrup is mixed with water, carbonated, and slurped into signature contour bottles. Much fun was had watching the giant yellow robot, which seems like a lot of machine to handle four bottles at a time. Not a human worker in sight. I thought about how much fun it would be to bring my friend the union organizer here, and watch his head explode.
The big event is the tasting room - a mad free-for-all where one can sample 60-something international Coke products. I am partial to kiwi-flavoured Bibo, which comes from South Africa. I was also amused by Barq's Birch Beer, which I hope they have in Lubbock.
The first chamber is full of international Coke advertisements, and is undeniably delightful.
Then, we were herded into the first of several cinemas to watch The Happiness Factory - A Documentary, where fanciful animated creatures talk about their experiences producing Happiness in the Coke Factory. I realize that I have degrees in film and psychoanalytic thought so I am predisposed to a certain type of interpretation, but this was one of the most perverse films I've ever seen. First, there's the "woman" who is essentially describes herself as the company prostitute, whose mission is to make sure everyone is happy and satisfied, and who keeps crossing her legs and commenting about how you can see up her skirt. Uh-huh. Then, there's these little disembodied mouths that jump around and ambush characters with their caresses. Right. Then there's the gay blue-alien workers with handlebar mustaches and hardhats. Ok. Don't miss the flying blimp creature with the pierced nipples. I'm not kidding. Happiness Factory indeed!
The next areas were devoted to the history of Coca Cola and its thousands of supplementary beverages. I particularly enjoyed this unofficial Coca Cola sandwich press. Yum.
There was extensive discussion of the Coke corporate philosophy, that a Coke product should always be "within arm's reach of desire." In keeping with that, here is the Coke dispenser for the Space Shuttle.
One of the attractions is a real-life Coke bottling facility, where the vat of mystery syrup is mixed with water, carbonated, and slurped into signature contour bottles. Much fun was had watching the giant yellow robot, which seems like a lot of machine to handle four bottles at a time. Not a human worker in sight. I thought about how much fun it would be to bring my friend the union organizer here, and watch his head explode.
The big event is the tasting room - a mad free-for-all where one can sample 60-something international Coke products. I am partial to kiwi-flavoured Bibo, which comes from South Africa. I was also amused by Barq's Birch Beer, which I hope they have in Lubbock.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Lubbock!
It's official - I'm taking a job at Texas Tech University. It's a swell gig, and I'll be living in the land of Tex-Mex food, cotton fields, and awesome belt buckles. A friend of mine who has lived a good part of her life in Texas noted that I will be "good for the place", as in "Get ready, Lubbock, here comes a free thinker!"
Many blogging opportunities will no doubt ensue...
Many blogging opportunities will no doubt ensue...
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